The Incredible Human, Part Seven: Emotional Tears

What Are Emotional Tears?

Emotional crying is one of humanity's most mysterious and fascinating traits. Unlike any other species, humans shed tears in response to emotional events—a phenomenon that has puzzled scientists, philosophers, and poets for centuries. From moments of heartbreak to overwhelming joy, emotional tears are deeply embedded in the human experience. They reveal much about who we are as social, empathetic, and moral beings. In this exploration of emotional crying, we will uncover its origins, functions, and the reasons why this behavior is so uniquely human.

The Emotional Spectrum of Tears

Emotional crying is the act of shedding tears in response to feelings rather than due to physical irritation of the eyes. While many animals produce tears for biological reasons, such as cleaning their eyes, humans are the only species known to cry specifically as a result of emotions. This distinction has been acknowledged throughout history, and claims of tearful behavior in animals—such as elephants and gorillas—have largely been debunked by scientific research.

Humans are born with the ability to cry, but the nature and triggers of crying evolve over a lifetime. Infants cry vocally to communicate their needs, often described as an "acoustical umbilical cord" to elicit care from their parents. As we grow older, the emphasis shifts from vocal crying to silent tears, which can express complex emotions such as sadness, joy, or even moral reflection. This transformation demonstrates that crying is not merely a reflex but a multifaceted behavior influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors.

Interestingly, age and life experience influence what makes us cry. While children may cry frequently in response to physical pain or frustration, adults often shed tears for more abstract reasons, such as feelings of empathy, moral reflection, or life's deeper meaning.

Emotional Crying and Human Connection

One of the most compelling aspects of emotional crying is its role in fostering human connection. Tears are not just a sign of distress; they serve as a powerful social signal. According to attachment theory, crying evolved as a mechanism to elicit support and care from others, especially from attachment figures like parents, romantic partners, or close friends.

Visible tears are particularly effective in conveying vulnerability and emotional need. Studies indicate that observers are more likely to offer comfort and support to someone who is crying than to someone who is simply expressing sadness without tears. This display of tears also evokes empathy, encouraging others to engage in cooperative and prosocial behavior.

The social function of crying highlights its evolutionary significance. In the context of human ultrasociality—our unique ability to form complex, cooperative societies—tears may have played a crucial role in building trust, reducing aggression, and strengthening social bonds. For instance, ritual crying has historically been part of communal grieving and celebration, further reinforcing group cohesion.

Gender and Cultural Differences in Crying

Crying is a universal emotional response, but its frequency and triggers can vary widely due to factors such as gender, personality, and cultural norms. Research indicates that women cry more often than men, with adult women in Western societies crying two to four times more frequently than their male counterparts. This gender difference may have biological roots, influenced by hormonal variations such as lower testosterone levels in women, which are linked to a lower threshold for crying.

Socialization also plays a significant role in how crying is perceived and expressed. In many cultures, men are socialized to suppress their tears, which is often viewed as a sign of strength. In contrast, women are generally encouraged to express their emotions more openly. Cultural attitudes toward crying additionally shape these behaviors; in some societies, crying is regarded as a sign of weakness, whereas in others, it is appreciated as an authentic expression of human emotion.

Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Effects of Crying

Crying has both intrapersonal (effects on the individual) and interpersonal (effects on others) dimensions. Intrapersonally, crying is often linked to catharsis, which is the idea that it provides emotional relief. Many people report feeling better after crying, but research indicates that this relief is not universal. The benefits of crying can depend on factors such as the individual’s psychological state, the context in which the crying occurs, and the reactions of those around them.

From an interpersonal perspective, crying can have mixed effects. While it often elicits empathy and support, it may also provoke irritation or discomfort, especially if it is perceived as manipulative or inappropriate for the situation. For instance, crying in professional settings is generally viewed negatively, particularly for men, who may face harsher judgment for showing vulnerability.

Despite these complexities, crying plays a crucial role in human relationships. By signaling vulnerability and eliciting care from others, tears help strengthen social bonds and promote mutual understanding.

The Science of Emotional Tears

Emotional tears are different from other types of tears due to their biochemical composition. They contain higher levels of stress-related hormones, such as adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH) and endorphins. This might explain why some people feel a sense of relief after crying. The presence of these substances supports the idea that tears serve as a physiological release during times of intense emotion.

Research indicates that crying may stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation and recovery. Additionally, crying is believed to trigger the release of oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding and stress reduction.

Interestingly, the production of emotional tears is linked to brain regions involved in emotion regulation, such as the limbic system. This connection emphasizes that crying is not just a reflex; it is a deeply integrated aspect of our emotional and social lives.

Crying and Human Nature

Crying serves important biological and social functions, but it also provides deep insights into human nature. The reasons we cry highlight what we truly value—such as relationships, moral ideals, and significant moments of beauty or meaning. Tears can act as a "moral exclamation mark," indicating that an event or experience holds deep significance.

In this way, crying is not only a sign of vulnerability; it also demonstrates our capacity for empathy, morality, and connection. Researcher Ad Vingerhoets suggests that understanding the role of tears can lead to a deeper comprehension of what it means to be human.

Conclusion

Emotional crying is a uniquely human experience that encompasses biological, psychological, and social aspects of our lives. Originating from our evolutionary history as a means of eliciting care, crying plays a crucial role in fostering empathy and connection among individuals. It serves as a powerful reminder of our shared humanity.

As science continues to explore the complexities of emotional crying, one thing is evident: our tears—whether shed in sorrow or joy—are a profound expression of what it means to be human. They connect us, reflect our deepest feelings, and remind us of the beauty and fragility of life.

Source:

Vingerhoets AJJM, Bylsma LM. The Riddle of Human Emotional Crying: A Challenge for Emotion Researchers. Emot Rev. 2016 Jul;8(3):207-217. doi: 10.1177/1754073915586226. Epub 2015 May 28. PMID: 30854025; PMCID: PMC6402489.